Stand

Stand your ground when trials swirl;
Fear may plague and taunt, memories hunt and tears abound.
Giving in sounds sweet as you consider retreat
Even when surrounded by doubt, stand your ground.
Stand your ground though pain swells;
Defenses raise, eyes turned red, hearts fail from heaviness and dred.
Solace and safety you seek behind walls of concrete,
Though trembling and shaken, stand your ground.
Stand your ground when weary and worn;
Hopeless sounds truer than promises of victory and future joy.
Words of comfort and encouragement fail inside you
Though you feel battered and broken, stand your ground.
As you stand you realize your not alone;
the lies that crippled you begin to lose their grip and hope can be felt.
Strength surges and truth rings out Jesus loves you!
He's been suffering beside you and holding tight,
His love saves you and now comes the breakthrough!

Standfast therefore...

“Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”
‭‭John‬ ‭3:18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Lord I trust You, help me get through!

Negative Nelly Turns On The Light

Some would say I’m a negative nelly, and I would agree whole heartedly. I’d like to say it’s because I’m a realist because let’s be honest that just sounds better, but, it’s just because I was born with this super power that turns every thought towards the dark side. Some days just snapping out of a negative thought takes forever. It’s not encouraging or productive! Being a stay at home mom has enough challenges from dawn until dust and struggling with your thoughts on top of all that is enough to make me want to head for the hills. Alas, I find myself unable to move because of lack of motivation. A catch 22!

You can imagine my surprise when the Lord thought to bless me with these wonderful children and marvelously patient husband and a new house to boot. Really Lord? There are much more qualified women to raise all these kids and why hasn’t my husband realized the error of his ways and fled? Decorate and clean this house so it looks and feels like a home….hahahaha! Have you forgotten who You’re talking to? I’m the one without a stitch of perseverance. I can’t even finish a meal let alone complete a task that requires creativity and a bit of engineering such as making this house a home. And yet here I am smack dab in the middle of this God given assignment.

I always hated when certain people would say God won’t give you more than you can handle (insert eye roll emoji). My daughter has a thing for emoji’s…anyways. My whole life has been one big ‘I can’t handle this party’ after another! And I’m still here. I don’t think the statement is true, at least not for me. God has given me way more than I could handle time and time again. Maybe He wants to prove to me that He will always see me through whatever obstacles life throws my way. Maybe He wants to teach me to fully trust that He is my strength. Maybe He wants me to grow beyond what my limited mind says I can do. Or maybe He’s just trying to kill me (kidding). You must be careful these days with sarcasm, especially on social media (winky face emoji).

One thing is for sure I am blessed! I have the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for. Seriously I love my kids and my husband! We have fun together when I’m not barking orders at them. I don’t bark orders at my husband, because that doesn’t work ladies (sorry can’t help myself with the sarcasm). My kids are incredible, they’ve been through so much in their short little lives and still have compassion for others and love the imperfect mess of a mom they’ve been given. And my husband, the most loving, thoughtful, funny, forgiving, humble and sometimes sarcastic, man I’ve ever known. He truly is my best friend. And so, my house will eventually get put in order and my thoughts will eventually turn back to the light because when I sit down and think about it who cares if I’m not Martha Stewart or the Pioneer woman. If my kids and my husband love me apart from wife and mommy perfection than why should I let another negative thought bring me down?

Dear Jubilee

 Jubilee
 You had a very busy day today. Keegan had a wrestling tournament that went all day long. You did so well considering you were tired and hungry and surrounded by thunderous noise.  Daddy tried to cover your ears during the really loud parts. You know you really bring so much joy just by being you and being here with us.  Keegan lost two of the three matches he played today and he was pretty emotional but emotional for him just means he teared up a little and got very quiet.  I didn't know what to say to him but I tried and Charles tried but he wouldn't give more than one word responses or glossy eyed looks. But you got him to smile. It wasn't a profound word or even a comforting tone, it was just you being you and being there with him. Even though you are so little and won't remember I want you to know that you matter. Your life matters so much and you bring joy to your family!